My three contenders for worst war films are the following: Jarhead, Courage Under Fire and sorry to disagree with the author of this thread but Apocalyse Now. Jarhead - whiney Marines crying about everything. Courage Under Fire - Sorry, I can't see Meg Ryan winning the Medal of Honor. It was simply politically correct Bravo Sierra. Lastly Apocalypse Now - Everyone is either a psychopath or a drug addict, not one professional soldier is reasonably competent or sane. Honorable Mention - Platoon - the hackneyed stereotype Vietnam Movie. All the officers are idiots, the Noncommissioned officers are cruel and only the soldiers know what's going on...drivel at best.
Posted by: Scott Erdo | September 18, 2007 at 12:27 AM
Report this comment
The thing is, some films are so bad they're good; they become Golden Turkeys. For me, Battle of the Bulge is one such turkey. It started out decently enough, but it just degenerates into a laughable shambles, from fighting a tank battle in the desert to Telly Savalas' over the top antics (I'm gonna stay here and wait for the Ger-mans." Gotta get that little tremor of emotion on Germans in there.). My folks got me a copy of the film for my 20th birthday, and we still quote from it all the time.
Platoon Leader, starring Michael Dudikoff. Man, what a baaaaaad Vietnam movie. Not quite as hilariously cheesy as the American Ninja movies, but man, it's pretty bad!
Who can forget The Patriot? Man, Mel Gibson sure knows how to spoil a decent revolution! The British are such cardboard cut out villains it's ridiculous. If the Tarleton-based character had actually torched a church full of people, I doubt he would have lived. His activities in the Carolinas made him decidedly unpopular among Americans. Graphic violence is supposed to make you think this film is somehow realistic. And what's up with Mel Gibson's character not owning slaves? They actually say to the Tarleton character that they aren't slaves! If you want to set your film in the South, you've got to deal with certain unpleasant realities of the period.
So that's my top three, chosen after much careful consideration, and several forehead slaps and a few genuine belly laughs.
Posted by: Chris | September 18, 2007 at 04:08 AM
Report this comment
Ah yes, The Patriot - I must have subconsciously blocked that out, a truly awful film! Speaking of bad films that are good because they are so bad, then Escape To Victory has to be up there. Where else could you get Michael Caine, Bobby Moore, Sly Stallone, Pele and Ossie Ardiles in the same film? Historical accuracy goes out the window in one of those films that always seems to be on the box on Christmas Day…
Posted by: Mike | September 18, 2007 at 09:43 AM
Report this comment
At least the cannons actually recoil in The Patriot - I remember seeing that and thinking this can't be all that bad. My worst are The Thin Red Line, The Alamo and the grandaddy of them all Heartbreak Ridge. Clint, normally so good, very wrong particularly when it got to the invasion.
Posted by: Rich | September 18, 2007 at 10:36 AM
Report this comment
Midway....all the stupid fictional personal stories, the father who is the Admiral (Chuck Heston) - who flies a mission, and crashes his Hellcat (or was it a Panther) who is the father of a fighter pilot who is in love with a Hawaiian Japanese girl who is being deported. What, the Navy had the time to deport a third of the population of Hawaii! Paunch (Eric Estrada) from CHiPs as a squadron mate. It's not like the actual story wasn't all that interesting!
Pearl Harbor...bleech, nothing more needs to be said.
Memphis Belle...I think they shot down the entire Jagdewaffe in the West single handed in that final mission!
Matt
Posted by: Matt Roberts | September 19, 2007 at 12:51 PM
Report this comment
So many to choose from. I agree that The Thin Red Line, which was an excellent book, the movie was made into an art film and lost all credibility with me. The Patriot was horrible, nuf' said. I hate to be redundant but Pearl Harbor was a historically significant event that was made into a cheesey chick film, and not far behind because of it's historical inaccuracies and additional chickiness was Midway. I must say, even with some inaccuracies in place, Band of Brothers still sits at the top of my list as one of the best productions of all time.
Posted by: Dana | September 19, 2007 at 12:54 PM
Report this comment
Have to say Thin Red Line had great photography, but horrible presentation. Could not follow it any more than the same director's "New World." Agree with "Battle of the Bulge." I have studied the Battle since I was a kid and been to the area twice. Not much historical about the movie. Then also "Pearl Harbor." Another director taking literary license and boggling the historical perpective. Just can't see fighter pilots at Pearl flying medium bombers to bomb Japan.
Posted by: Bob Geissinger | September 19, 2007 at 03:22 PM
Report this comment
actually, most war movies are bravo sierra. the uniforms are wrong (especially german), the weapons camouflaged us stuff, etc. so, the list is long. just concentrate on films that get it right.
band of brothers tries and usually succeeds getting the weapons and uniforms right. private ryan ditto.
the edith piaf touch was just right.
das boot-inspired as war movie, great as a film.
all other movies seem to overlay 21st century sensibilities over 1940's action (or vietnam, or whatever) zulu with michael caine hits the tone of victorian military attitude just about right. there are a few others
Posted by: william hart | September 19, 2007 at 03:30 PM
Report this comment
Pearl Harbor is by far the worst. Huge disapointment! I'm forgetting the name but the one with Michael J. Fox(Vietnam Vet) was lame also. Last but not least Thin Red Line. The best in my opinion are Saving Pvt. Ryan, Band of Brothers, and A Bridge to Far.
Posted by: Ben Strong | September 19, 2007 at 04:39 PM
Report this comment
Midway, Battle of the Bulge and Pearl Harbor would be in my top 3 worst war films. No more needs to be said about Pearl Harbor. Bulge is a muddled mess and incredibly inaccurate (the use of Spanish Army M47 and M48 tanks representing German armor and M24s for American Shermans - and shot in the desert no less - is ludicrous, made even worse when they also incorporate footage of models in that last tank battle). But the worst is Midway and has been at the top of my worst war film list since I first saw it back when it was released. I've pretty much learned to ignore the love stories, clearly included to get the females into the theaters. But the historical inaccuracies just drive me up the wall. The straw that broke the camel's back for me in this movie was when they used a clip of actual footage showing a Vindicator in a dive (probably shot pre-war), used to represent an American attack on the Japanese carriers. Now, that wasn't so bad, Vindicators were at Midway and did participate in the battle. But then later in the film they used the same clip again - this time reversed - but used to represent the Japanese attacking the American carriers! The clip is in color and shows the pre-war national insignia with the red center. Apparently they figured that red circle was close enough to a Japanese "meatball" insignia, so why not use the same clip again. If memory serves, they also use wartime footage of Hellcats (with late war national insignia!), which of course were not present at Midway. Even documentaries fall into this trap of laziness - using footage from the wrong period. Some years ago I was watching the epsiode of Victory at Sea that covered the Guadalcanal invasion - and they used late war footage of Hellcats.
Posted by: Ray Merriam | September 19, 2007 at 05:34 PM
Report this comment
I have to agree that thin red line was awful, but far worse was windtalkers - who knew hand grenades had such destructive power? An equal doozy was Too Late the Hero with Michael Cain. Gettysburg was another rubbish film. My favourite war movie of all time is A Bridge Too Far, followed by Saving Private Ryan and Band Of Brothers. Not sure if it can be classed as awar movie but Hotel Rwanda is also excellent. And the classics - I always enjoy watching John Mills in Dunkirk when it makes its occasional TV appearance.
Posted by: Frank White | September 19, 2007 at 07:51 PM
Report this comment
At the risk of sounding redundant, Pearl Harbor. Just a nightmare. Was not a big fan of Apocolypse Now. Have to agree with the first commentor. Everyones either nuts or on drugs, or both.
Posted by: Ando | September 19, 2007 at 07:56 PM
Report this comment
What about "Inchon"? I don't recall hearing ANYTHING good about this one. Can't come up with two more off the top of my head, but I think "Inchon" may make up for that...
Posted by: Ann | September 19, 2007 at 08:27 PM
Report this comment
Oh, yes. Just remembered: "Windtalkers". 'Nuff said.
Posted by: Ann | September 19, 2007 at 08:29 PM
Report this comment
Well who can guess my first? 2 words, something to do with ships and precious gems......awww u got it. Pearl Harbour was indeed a large, lame Turkey, which was a shame because the action sequences were quite well done (ashamed to say that I like the 2 minute dogfight sequence) Enema at the gates.....could have been a good film had it not been for the utterly pointless Rachael Weis and the equally pointless love story....oh and Jude Law is just far too simpering for that role. And last but by NO means least.....U571 just thinking about this film makes me angry beyond all comprehension A. Because it sucks B. because it makes a mockery of the men who died retrieving the Enigma machine....its only saving grace jon Bon Jovi gets wasted....Hurrah!
Posted by: Paul Adamson | September 19, 2007 at 09:06 PM
Report this comment
Only three worst war movies? Geeze! I could name a list as long as my arm. Seems most were done in the Seventies from my perspective.
A few come to mind such as The Dirty Dozen, Anzio, The charge of The Light brigade.
I heartily agree with the fans of Das Boot, 'Brothers, 'Ryan, Bridge Too Far.
Kelly's Hero's gets my vote aas a good film with little historical content but good use of mostly authentic armor, weapons etc.(I even fogave the T-34 in Tigers clothing and the "Firefly" in US garb (actually a post war Czech mod).
I'm surprised no one mentioned "Tora Tora Tora" in any way.............
All said and done Pearl Harbour and Light Brigade are the worst I've seen in my 50+plus years of movie going.
Posted by: David Juhasz | September 20, 2007 at 12:29 AM
Report this comment
I got one that tops them all as the all time worst:
Battle Force starting Henry Fonda, Stacy Keach, and John Huston. Never heard of it? Consider yourselves lucky. My mom found a copy of it in a thrift shop for $.50 and after we watched it, we gave it right back to them.
I'm surprised no one mentioned Anzio with Robert Mitchum. Bad plot, Allies using German weapons, Germans carrying Allied weapons, and the ambush of the Rangers was embarrasing to watch. When they played that song in the opening credits, I knew it was going to suck.
And don't forget Raid on Rommel. It was a cheap ripoff of the movie Tobruk with nonsensical scenes and bad lighting that made it hard to see what is happening.
We need a new thread of what war movies we would like to see made. ;0)
Posted by: Gene | September 20, 2007 at 12:38 AM
Report this comment
My three worst waste of time:
Full Metal Jacket (yes !!!)
All Chuck Norris' series "returning to Vietnam"
Battle of Britain
U S Cavedon
Brazil
Posted by: Ubirajara Sperb Cavedon | September 20, 2007 at 01:11 AM
Report this comment
I agree with everyone's comments. Some of these films were poorly done, but you've all left out "Windtalkers". The premise was a good one, but the action just seemed so unrealistic, and Nicholas Cage's character was poorly done.
"Pearl Harbor was a farce, and my worst Vietnam movie is "Platoon". As a Vietnam veteran, I saw stereotypical characters, what people think Vietnam soldiers were like. I think if anyone wants to see what real soldiers were like in Nam, watch "We Were Soldiers" or "Hamburger Hill".
Posted by: Don Norton | September 20, 2007 at 04:29 AM
Report this comment
I completely agree with you all on Midway and Pearl. After doing the Graphic Histories (no plug intended, promise) I know how exciting these stories are, and they were just wasted, wasted. As for Windtalkers - my advice is just step away from the TV. You'll only throw things. Which leads me nicely on to Mel. Anything historical which is Mel-related... I'd say leave it well alone. To you and to Mel. Please.
Posted by: Simone | September 20, 2007 at 10:21 AM
Report this comment
Escape From Athena is an appalling film. The first hint that it was rubbish should have been the tagline: "The patriot, the professor, the comic and the stripper, were fighting for what they believed in. Getting rich!"
However, that wasn't warning enough for me, and I got to sit through 2 hours of dull inaction. It's a shame, really - on paper the cast is pretty solid: Roger Moore, David Niven, Telly Savalas, Elliot Gould... and Richard "Shaft" Roundtree - but the film is terminally boring. I suppose I should be thankful that, at least, we are spared such inglorious war movie moments as the Greek folk singing in Guns of Navarone or Chuck Heston being Chuck Heston in every film he's ever done.
As far as my favourite movies go, Longest Day, A Bridge Too Far and Red Dawn (yes, Red Dawn) are hard to beat.
Posted by: Phil | September 20, 2007 at 10:24 AM
Report this comment
Now why didn't I think of this one before? Sam Peckinpah's Major Dundee, starring Charlton "Damn you all to hell!" Heston. This flick started out with some promise, Union officer has to lead a group of Galvanized Yankees after (Was it Apaches? I think so) Indians, crosses into Mexico and runs afoul of the French. But apparently, Peckinpah spent most of his time in Mexico completely snockered and/or smoking pot and tripping peyote. Didn't really do so well when it came to directing. Heston got so exasperated with Peckinpah that he actually charged him on horseback! Then Sam P. gets canned in the middle (make that muddle) of production. Seems like they changed writers too, since all of a sudden, Dundee has a drinking problem that was never before revealed, and while wallowing in self pity with his woman, gets wounded by Indians, who are in turn dispatched by a bunch of the Major's men who appear out of nowhere. Really. They just rise out of the swamp reeds. Hard to have a nice little tryst with those guys tagging along, but hey, they managed to stay out of the way until then. I remember my Mom dubbed them "the peeking picket." And there's this great end titles song that goes a little something like this:
Fall in behind the Major
I can't remember the rest, but there's more cheese in that song than in the entire state of Wisconsin.
Posted by: Chris | September 20, 2007 at 03:31 PM
Report this comment
Bad:
Pearl Harbour (just plain awwwwfuuul)
Battle of the Bulge (a desert in Belgium?)
Force Ten from Navarone (bad, bad, bad)
Plus: U571 (insulting)
Good:
Das Boot
Gallipoli (1981)
All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)
Posted by: Ian | September 22, 2007 at 09:10 AM
Report this comment
Nothing can beat David Bowie in "Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence", incarcerated in the only Japanese POW camp which had a hairdressers and a full selection of hair products.
Posted by: Steve | September 23, 2007 at 10:01 PM
The WORST war movies ever made, so bad they're in a class by themselves:
GODS AND GENERALS
MARINES, LET'S GO
ALL others are Oscar material in comparison.
Posted by: John Beatty | September 24, 2007 at 09:44 PM
Report this comment
1965's Battle of the Bulge was AWFUL in so many ways but bear in mind most WW II films (including Patton) made prior to 1980 are guilty of inaccuracies & wrong uniforms/repainted post-1945 tanks etc.
Inchon was a total mess...........I actually recall seeing it during it's brief release & it has never been released on VHS/DVD.
The Patriot was well-intended but failed miserably due to it's dumbing-down of RevWar history including the fictional "Tavington's Legion" uniforms of red/faced-green, Dragoon-less Battle of Cowpens & other mistakes that make this film a total cinematic abortion.
I will say this for 1976's Midway.........It was my first exposure to WW II history & naval aviation at the young age of 9 & while there are some horrible errors such as using inaccurate color stock footage & omitting relevant details such as the failed Midway-based aircraft counterattacks the film will always be a favorite.
Posted by: Michael Lubrano | September 26, 2007 at 09:03 PM
Report this comment
does anyone remembers the Duke's "Green Berets"?
now that's some serious comedy material...
Pearl Harbour;how many of us were eagerlly awaiting for it and got that string-romance stuff instead?
in the "sunny" side; the epic "Enemy at the Gates".
Bertollucci's "1900" is simply my favorite movie EVER.
and of course "Band of Brothers"
Posted by: Paulitus Portugal | September 30, 2007 at 04:17 AM
Report this comment
My worst -
Braveheart, the Patriot and Gallipoli. What do they all have in common? Mel Gibson vs the incompetent/evil English. The problem with these is that they are all so well made in terms of action and emotional heart-string pulling that they completely obscure history for a whole generation of young impressionable minds. At least Battle of the Bulge was honest - it was just badly made!
For faves, All Quiet on the Western Front (original), Zulu, the Australian ANZACs series from the 1980s (not perfect, but I must have watched all of these 100 times as a kid).
Dishonourable mention: Waterloo - can someone please make a good and accurate version of this film?
Posted by: Nathan Ward | September 30, 2007 at 11:02 PM
Report this comment
Nathan, which Waterloo? I loved the Russian one, but that was before I Found Osprey. I may need to Revise!
William
Posted by: william | October 02, 2007 at 11:15 PM
Report this comment
My the worst trio is:
Enemy at the Gates: the history of the great battle is completely changed! Before and after the movie I read the book, writen by Zaitsev himself, and now consider the movie as a great Sci-Fi drama.
U-571, another example of good Holywood Sci-Fi movie. But definitely not a war movie!
Pearl Harbour: no comments :) Rambo (2,3) - insulting and historically incorrect (Soviet troops in Puma helicopters… great)
Posted by: Igor Dudchenko | October 04, 2007 at 01:56 PM
Report this comment
1. Pearl Harbor - horrible, useless love story, not to mention they pretty much ignored the Navy side of the story (why was the focus on two pilots?)
2. The Patriot - awful, misleading
3. Mephis Belle - everything bad that could happen, did (the final straw had to be the ball turret getting blown apart and the turret gunner being held in by the strap). The Belle's final mission was actually uneventful.
4. Tears of the Sun - absolutely lifeless characters. Also couldn't understand how 5 guys could stand up and walk down a valley with 100 guys shooting at them and never getting hit.
5. Thin Red Line - seemed like the director was portarying Guadalcanal through some sort of acid trip.
6. GI Jane - SEALs are tough but I'm not sure they are sadistic
Posted by: Mark | October 26, 2007 at 01:22 AM
Report this comment
OK,you asked for WORST war movies?
I would have to say anything made during the Second World War (ie:propaganda)definately counts.
There was one in particular where the hero went under plastic surgery to look like a Japanese,so he could penetrate The Japanese mainland to rescue a fellow American held Prisoner.
Unfortunately,he finds his lost girl friend being held in the same camp,too.She ,of course can,t recognize him because he looks "Soooooo Japanese,how revolting!"
"Anzio","Kelly,s Heroes"(they did have a Tiger"Porsche type"),"Flight to Athena","Pearl Harbor","Green Berrets","Missing in Action","Rambo","Common Valour","1941","The Conquerer"("The Duke" Plays Ghengis Khan,and gets cancer for his troubles),...They were all bad.
The best ones were definately "Enemy at the gates","Tora,Tora,Tora",the original "All Quiet on the Western Front","Patton",in spite of the wrong tanks(I really hate that.When are they going to finally find some "German" panzers?),"Saving Private Ryan"(finally,an actual "Tiger"),"Guns of Navaone"(ignore the Lancaster stuck in mid-air,in the beginning of the film.
If you want a rare treat,go find "Cross of Iron".
My guilty pleasure ,though is "55 days at Peking",with Chuck Heston,God forgive me.
We need more Chinese war movies,and Eastern front action,"Zah Rodeenu"!
Sorry for all the titles,this is a real passion with me,Thanks.
Posted by: Charles swanson | December 12, 2007 at 08:11 PM
Report this comment